I don't want to do anything.

It is Sunday night. I haven't started my homework. I haven't even opened my backpack. I don't want to do my homework or open my backpack. I just want to sit here on the internet and eat nutella and pretzels. And maybe watch a movie later. But I definitely do not want to do anything. I don't even want to think, because thinking usually leads to me thinking about things that I'd rather not think about. Like how I have no chance with the person I like, or Spanish class, or taking the ACT and SAT, or college. None of those things I want to think about right now.

My brain has been thinking too much all weekend. Yesterday I was thinking a lot. Then I went to go see Disco Inferno (I mentioned that before). That was a lot of fun and I got to see so many of my friends! And the person I like... Normally, one would be excited about seeing, ya know, that someone that they can't stop thinking about. But I hate that I can't stop thinking about them. And whenever I see them I think about how I have no chance. So when I left yesterday, that was all I could think about. How hopeless this stupid little crush is and how much I wish I could get over it but can't. Then, when I was trying to sleep last night, I couldn't because my brain wouldn't shut up!

And now, today, I'm thinking about the future. Fan-freaking-tastic. My friend is going to school in Japan after this year is over. It's very possible that I could never see her again, because next year I'm a senior. Then I'm going to college. So I'm thinking about that. And college! My college/career counselor talked to me last week at school! I'm taking the ACT in a few weeks. Then the SAT like a month after that. But earlier this week I had a dream that I didn't get accepted into any colleges. What if I don't? That would be awful... I mean, community college is fine, but I want to go to a four year university from the start. And then thinking about that, what if I can't afford it? And I want to go out of state, but all my friends want to stay in state.  What if I never see them after graduation?

Grr. There needs to be an off-switch for my brain because, at this rate, tonight will probably be another sleepless, thoughtful night.

Disneyland Trips: 4
Books Read: 7